You know we’re all about the Serious Journalism here at Smoking Outlet, but sometimes something so bizarre occurs we have to cover it—even when weed is only peripherally related. This time, it’s all about a face you’ve seen frequently on the news: Elon Musk. The union-stomping billionaire recently made headlines for tweeting that he’d secured funding to take Tesla private at $420 per share.
Haha, he said 420!!
Now that we’ve got that out of the way… Why DID he choose 420? Is Elon Musk a fan of weed? According to a New York Times interview, he’s not hot on pot. Regarding his pricing choice, he said “It seemed like better karma at $420 than at $419.” Although that sounds like an endorsement of the substance, he immediately backtracked by saying “But I was not on weed, to be clear. Weed is not helpful for productivity. There’s a reason for the word ‘stoned.’ You just sit there like a stone on weed.”
While Elon Musk’s pronouncement on weed sounds like a typical brush-off, it turns out there’s a metric ton more context to this story. Surreally, it involves rapper and Known Crazy Person Azealia Banks and Musk’s possibly erstwhile girlfriend/Quirky Musician Grimes. Thanks to the miracle of screenshots, we now have a (non)paper trail detailing some truly outlandish interactions between the three. Here’s all the drama, as it unfolded.
July 30th: Grimes announces a collaboration with Azealia Banks on the rapper’s new album. Already a weird start, but okay.
August 7th: Musk tweets about taking Tesla private at $420 per share. The world goes mad, speculating it means Musk loves weed.
August 10th: Azealia Banks shows up at Musk’s LA mansion, and shit gets weird. Here’s what she told Business Insider (via noted journalistic tool, Instagram DMs):
"I saw him in the kitchen tucking his tail in between his legs scrounging for investors to cover his ass after that tweet," she said. "He was stressed and red in the face."
Banks added: "He's not cute at all in person."
Banks also said that she was not trying to eavesdrop but that Musk seemed to be scrambling.
August 12th: Banks reports on Instagram that “staying in Elon musks house has been like a real life episode of 'Get Out.”
August 13th: Musk tells a reporter from Gizmodo that he’s never even met Banks. Banks fires back: “He lies about everything, just like he lied about funding secured.” [Ooh, it just got real!]
August 16th: Musk says yeah, ok, he met Azealia Banks for “two seconds at about a 30-foot distance. I’d just finished working out. She was not within hearing range. I didn’t even realize who it was. That’s literally the only time I’ve ever laid eyes on her.”
August 18th: Banks fires back with juicy screenshots of a conversation with Grimes, including accusations that Musk tapped her phone.
Azealia Banks posting conversations with Grimes about Elon Musk and claims he's tapping her phone pic.twitter.com/XLaWCjUTUN— ™ (@908hoe) August 18, 2018
August 19th: Grimes and Elon Musk unfollowed each other on Instagram. Musk later deleted his Instagram account, and Banks accuses him of blackmail.
You up?— Hope King (@lisahopeking) August 21, 2018
Latest from Ms. Banks pic.twitter.com/PA92P8h512
More screenshots emerged, suggesting that Elon Musk is “into weed” thanks to the evil influences of Grimes, and that his $420 quote for taking Tesla private was in fact a weed joke. But it was already too late, and the SEC was already hot on the trail for securities fraud.
This was also the end of the line for Banks’ involvement in Musk’s weed disaster. A few days later, she released a letter she had written to Musk. Predictably, it’s some crazy-ass bullshit.
Petitioning to get Azealia Banks’ letter to Elon Musk archived in the Library of Congress pic.twitter.com/jFIejGAj3B— Joshie D (@JoshieDtwink) August 25, 2018
Azealia Banks is now done talking about the whole Elon Musk thing, and has switched her focus to tracking down the address of Lana del Rey, so she can perform evil witchery on her for dissing Kanye. Yes, this is real.
Despite the controversy caused by his foray into weed-inspired tweets and securities fraud, Musk went on to smoke actual weed on actual live video. On September 6th, he appeared as a guest on The Joe Rogan Experience. By now we’ve all seen him taking a giant drag on a big-ass blunt, and we’re not going to show you again because frankly, he makes some really hideous faces.
At the end of September, the Elon Musk weed tweet earned the billionaire a slap on the wrist from the SEC. Musk and Tesla will have to pay $20 million dollars each, and Musk is out as chairman. He will remain CEO, as well as stupid rich. In other words, this settlement has done nothing to curb the guy’s crazy behavior. In fact, Musk went right back to twitter to mock the SEC after the settlement.
Just want to that the Shortseller Enrichment Commission is doing incredible work. And the name change is so on point!— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 4, 2018
Whether or not Elon Musk smokes weed is honestly the least interesting aspect of this cringeworthy saga. When a rapper visits the home of a titan of industry, accuses him and his weird musician girlfriend of holding her hostage (potentially for a threesome), and the actual SEC gets involved because of a weed tweet inspired by aforementioned girlfriend, you know you’re part of a special, terrible moment in history. The absurdity of it perfectly mirrors the times in which we live. But this time, at least, it deserves a laugh!